Many Paths, One Destination

I love movies. I am not an aficionado by any means, nor have I studied the art form. However, like all of you, I have my favorites. This morning, I was thinking about the past. We all have a past, and we all think about that past, and sometimes daydream about our "What If" scenarios. To set the stage, I've recently watched "Groundhog Day", "The Lake House", and "Frequency". In each, the protagonists work to change themselves, their past, their attitudes, their behavior, and through these changes thereby change their future.

This led me to think very carefully about my past, and what I would change if I had the chance. Many scenes and scenarios came to mind, some significant, some seemingly less so. I realized that there was one key decision I made freshman year in college that really created a strong pattern I have only become recently aware of in my life. The choice was a simple one, really, a yes or no situation. At the time, I chose "yes". And honestly, in retrospect, I wish I had chosen "no".

But would my life really have been different?

While my knee jerk reaction was to emphatically say "Absolutely!", I simply am not that sure anymore. The more I think about it, the more I wonder about lessons and growing. Life is full of lessons, some painful, some less so. Some, we have to keep repeating and repeating until we either finally get the point or we leave the earthly plane. So, while I'd like to believe that this one decision would have utterly changed my life, I'm no longer positive about the assertion.

What has this got to do with the movies I mentioned?

In "Groundhog Day", our rather unlikable protagonist is forced to live the same day, over and over until he learns many lessons of self-worth, love, compassion, humility, vulnerability, and honesty. Think about it: what if you could do anything you wanted, with complete freedom from consequences? Would you, like the protagonist, find yourself realizing that living your many fantasies was meaningless and unfulfilling? Would you, like the protagonist, instead come to find meaning in personal exploration and growth? Would you, like the protagonist, find a way to find meaning in every minute, every action of that day, over and over and over again?

In "The Lake House", a man and a woman exchange letters that are somehow transported through time, and learn what love, relationships, and real commitment means to each of them. Most would tell you it's a pretty mediocre movie, but let's focus on the questions. Would you throw away everything you had for a chance to meet this future love? Would you heed their words of love? Of longing? Of warning? Would you honor her wishes, as the man did, and force yourself to wait two years for a love, a heart, a life you already know you want?

In "Frequency", a man on the brink of divorce communicates with his father across time, and each communication causes a change in the timeline (his reality, if you will), finally resulting in the long lives of both his mother and father, the continuance of his marriage, and even the promise of a child. Would you be able to live with the consequences of your decisions? During the course of the movie, the mother dies, the father dies (several different ways), the man loses his dream career, his marriage, and finds himself in the middle of a murder case. Would you keep the faith and continue to communicate with your father even as the changes wrought havoc in your life? Would you risk everything to see just once again the man you one idolized? Would you stay sane through the process of the changes?

There are so many things in my life that I would like to change, and that one decision is emblematic of all of my relationships in my life. If I had walked away, said no, I might have had a much different, much less turbulent life. Things would have been safer for me emotionally, physically, and psychically. But would I be the "me" I have come to know and cherish? That's unclear.

What if the lesson was something I had to learn (over, and over, and over again)? What if I was being prepared for something far greater than I would have accomplished otherwise? What if that lesson was necessary for me to live the life I agreed to live when I was born?

Could I have learned the lesson without the many negative things that happened to me as a result of that decision, and the repeating of the action over and over until I got the point? Probably not. Would I have been happier without learning this lesson? That's very likely. But, life would have been uninteresting, possibly dull, and I never would have met many of the wonderful people I have encountered in my life. Certainly, my path would not have led me here, to the life I have right now. We are, after all, the sum of our decisions.

So, in any given situation, is there really a "right" and a "wrong" choice? Perhaps the answer is "No" -- I will honestly argue, however, that there are qualifications to this. The first qualification is that I, as the decision maker, must be willing to live with the outcome of any choice I make. The second is that I, as the decision maker, must also be willing to learn the lesson that will, inevitably, result from having made that choice. There's always a chance for a lesson -- any parent, any teacher can tell you that life is full of teaching moments. It's all in the perspective of the observer.

Can each of us live with this idea? Or is this something you'd rather ponder for a time?

Allow yourself to be patient and to be true to yourself. Remember to take at least five minutes every day to simply be by yourself and breathe. Allow yourself to indulge in a moment of thought, reflection and planning when the mood strikes. It's your money, your choice. Allow yourself to simply succeed on your own terms, to live in peace, abundance, and joy. One day, one decision at a time, remaining aware of your choices and your feelings. You CAN get there.

And, as always, if you need help, I'm available. It's what I do, and it's what I love to do.

Sharon.

Hypnotherapy can help you to think healthier, happier, and more successful thoughts while adding the power of relaxation to your life. As you go through your day, you feel better and perform better.

Contact us to learn more about how hypnotherapy can you propel you toward a healthier, happier lifestyle.

Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, in any form, does not diagnose, treat or cure mental or emotional problems, and is not a substitute for other professional help.