Freedom

There's a wonderful, heart wrenching song that I love, and listen to when the mood strikes. "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." How many of us view the word "freedom" in that way? That in order to achieve freedom, we must either sacrifice or have absolutely lost everything? That our lives require our subjugation to the desires, needs and whims of others?

Many years ago, when I was much younger, I viewed the lives of the young adults of the late 1960's and early 1970's as utterly free, and thought it a marvelous way to exist. My mother would shake her head gently at me, and remind me that I was a child, and didn't understand anything. What I saw as freedom was actually a glorified form of poverty, necessitating a descent into drug addiction, hunger and being a social outcast.

So, for many years, this is precisely how I saw the concept of freedom -- having nothing and being thereby bound by nothing. And yet, like so many others, I yearned for freedom: the freedom to travel, the freedom to sleep when I was tired, the freedom to choose how I would spend my days, the freedom to think and be as I wanted, the freedom to live in peace and happiness.

I have discovered that not only am I not the only person that feels this way, most of us despair of ever having any freedom or release from our own lives. What happened? How did we become so trapped in our existence? Were all our dreams, hopes and aspirations simply so much smoke drifting through the air, swirling and changing?

Is freedom really nothing more than a state of nothing left to lose??

This topic came up for me as I tried to be enthusiastic about my country's annual celebration of its declaration of freedom from oppression and tyranny. However, I was exhausted, I had far too much work to do, and since my husband's recovery isn't progressing as well as I had hoped, I was feeling that things were never going to change and that I was completely, utterly trapped in my life. I could not celebrate freedom if I could not feel it.

Because I learn so much about myself and others by examining these feelings as they arise, I took a moment and explored the unhappiness I was feeling. And, to my surprise, Janice Joplin's rendition of "Me and Bobby McGee" tore through my consciousness. Stunned, I paused and investigated. THIS was the emotion, the association I had with the word freedom? Pain, suffering, loss and being destitute? What had happened to me?

When I was young, I associated the word and concept of freedom to the birds of the air, to the beasts of the land and sea, to rich people and to spiritual advisors (priests, nuns, gurus, etc.). To my thinking of the time, all of those groups had one thing in common: the time and ability to do as they pleased, when they pleased, where they pleased, and how they pleased. And, to a certain extent, I still believe it, but now I exclude spiritual advisors from the group. And maybe rich people. And birds. And animals. And me.

When you wake in the middle of the night and think about your life, do you feel free or trapped? How should you feel? How did that question make you feel?

If, like me, you notice when your trials and travails have an effect upon those you love, you probably have the same reaction I had when I realized that I saw freedom as something unachieveable. Not only was there profound sorrow, there was no one I could talk to. How can there be a positive reaction when the one you love tells you they feel trapped and there's nothing you can do to help them? How do you react when your mother tells you she's helpless to achieve her own freedom of thought even as she tells you to aspire to this? How do you react when your wife tells you she's miserable and feels trapped in her life, the one you work hard to provide?

I hide these thoughts, deep, down inside, and I refuse to deal with or even acknowledge them until I have these moments of insight.

There is, however, an alternative. Throwing open the windows of that very dusty attic in my mind, I allowed the wind to sweep through and stir up every feeling, emotion and piles that had accumulated surrounding this word. As the motes danced in the light, I realized that freedom eluded me because I had created such an awful place for it in my mind. I had surrounded the place where freedom would reside with walls, bad feelings, frightening expectations and fear. Lots of fear.

"Physician, heal thyself" is a line often misquoted from the Bible, but it is applicable here. Even as I would advise a client to not only address but eliminate all of this pain and fear associated with the word freedom, I must do so with myself. And, as it is with my clients, it's all in the perspective.

Can I choose to find the freedom in my life? The freedom to work? The freedom to play? The freedom to love? The freedom to be responsible? The freedom to take a walk and clear my head?

Yes. But first, I must finish clearing the attic, eliminating all the fear associated with the concept of freedom, and create a place in my mind that is attractive, and full of life, so that freedom is something that is welcomed in my life.

Freedom is acknowledging the many choices you've made in your life, and allowing yourself to decide if they still represent meaningful solutions for you. Each of us does the best we can with what we have in any given moment. Years later, however, we've grown, we've changed, and those choices may no longer be relevant to our experiences or needs.

In my own life, this will mean re-establishing boundaries that enable me to conserve my energy for myself. So, in order to avoid late night work marathons, I'll have to sacrifice some time with my family. I think they'll appreciate the lack of grumpiness, though, so it will be best for everyone in the long run if I choose to say "Not right now. I am going to finish this work first. Then, I will pay attention to you. Please allow me to just get my work done for once -- a little sacrifice now in terms of my attentions will make me more willing to spend time with you in the future." And, I have to learn to say these things from a place of love, not fear or anger.

Freedom is allowing yourself to make choices that you can not only live with, but celebrate.

Freedom is just another word for everything to gain.

Allow yourself to be patient and to be true to yourself. Remember to take at least five minutes every day to simply be by yourself and breathe. Allow yourself to indulge in a moment of thought, reflection, and planning when the mood strikes. It's your life, your choice. Allow yourself to simply succeed on your own terms, to live in peace, abundance, and joy. One day, one decision at a time, remaining aware of your choices and your feelings. You CAN get there.

And, as always, if you need help, I'm available. It's what I do, and it's what I love to do.

Sharon.

Hypnotherapy can help you to think healthier, happier, and more successful thoughts while adding the power of relaxation to your life. As you go through your day, you feel better and perform better.

Contact us to learn more about how hypnotherapy can you propel you toward a healthier, happier lifestyle.

Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy, in any form, does not diagnose, treat or cure mental or emotional problems, and is not a substitute for other professional help.